Remember, you are valuable to each other, and most important you are valuable to Christ, who gave himself for you. We are given times of trouble to discover what true love is and to understand that I love you means I LOVE YOU!
A wound that is infected must be opened and scrubbed clean before it can heal.
Oh my...how I love CORY!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Prayers
Could use lots of prayers today....i hate to be selfish and ask for them...but we really need them.
Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy
As I wake up this morning after a night filled with discussion and honesty, I sit down to read today's Dare. By the title, you might think that this Dare is about sex. It's not. It is about far more than that. And as God has been in with me by my side for the last few weeks, God again is right here, taking good care of me, when I feel so humble and unworthy. You see, without feeling the least bit conceited or 'finger'pointing', today's dare is not for me. Today's dare is for Cory. Today's dare is without doubt something that I need from him. And because I feel the Holy Spirit just engulfing me, I know that today, I need to just hand this book to Cory. Funny how God knew today would be the day that I needed this from him. Funny how everything has been planned to a "T" by God. He planned for me to tell Cory early on about this blog, so he can read today's. He planned the exact moment that things would happen in my life to force decisions to be made. He planned the exact moment to sit down and have open communication of honest with my spouse. Unbelievable how much He loves me and wants such great things for me.
So, today, I'm going to spend time in His word. And I am going to hand the book to Cory. But on a note to those reading this daily, today is a new day for me. Today I begin my true walk with Christ. Today, you will hopefully see a change. I'm putting on my armor now, because I know God wants to use me, which means Satan is coming! Satan is finally scared of me! And he better be! I'm letting God be on my side.
Sorry to keep the dare from you. I'll come back to it one day....maybe today will yield awesome results, and I can type about it tonight! That would be my prayer. Please let that be yours!
So, today, I'm going to spend time in His word. And I am going to hand the book to Cory. But on a note to those reading this daily, today is a new day for me. Today I begin my true walk with Christ. Today, you will hopefully see a change. I'm putting on my armor now, because I know God wants to use me, which means Satan is coming! Satan is finally scared of me! And he better be! I'm letting God be on my side.
Sorry to keep the dare from you. I'll come back to it one day....maybe today will yield awesome results, and I can type about it tonight! That would be my prayer. Please let that be yours!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Day 16: Love intercedes
DARE: Begin praying for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.
"You cannot change your spouse. As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heard and mold them into what you want them to be. But that's what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do- change their spouse."
Todays dare is on interceding for your spouse. We all have things that bug us about our spouses. Since mine is reading this now, it might a little weird jsut stating the things I want to change, but here is the thing. It isn't my place to change them. The books says something profound. We all know what the definition is of insanity right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But isn't that what happens every time we ladies nag, nag, nag at our spouses? Or complain that they don't something we want them to do? For example, I haven't watched an AUburn game with Cory all year for one reason. Last night I entitle him Mr. Negative Auburn Fan. (and btw WAR EAGLE) He knows it! He is one of the most negative true fans I have ever seen. And it bugs me! But reading today's lesson gives me new perspective. WHO CARES if he is negative?! That is the only thing I can really think of in his WHOLE life that he has negativity towards - that's it! And he LOVES some Auburn football! Hanging out with him is really a blessing, and I really should have been more excited that he wanted to watch the game with me! I know that is nothing compared to what some of you may be going through. But here is what the book suggests:
We have to turn it over to God. Most of us ladies long for our husbands to be more spiritual leaders in the household. But we have to turn it over to God. We are doing this dare to nurture our spouses heart by changing ourselves from the inside out. Then depend on God' for the results! Of course, we can do it alone. Why would we try? We need to focus one something more powerful that anything else we have...Prayer! Believe me, it works! Look at us?! Prayer can keep us from giving up. Pray can bring peace. Prayer can make a difference. I have had so many of you praying for us, Cory's family, my family, Cory's best friend, our friends....Prayer works! But you must remember, the God is sovereign. he might not do it our way and may not give us every little thing we wish for, but He does desire a close relationship with us, with me and with you!
There are some key points that must be in place for prayer to work. The Bible says "Confess your sins toone another and pray for one another...The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." James 5:16 This may be the answer some of us are looking for!
Isn't funny how God gives us such close insight into our spouses faults? We no them better than anyone. Wonder why? Not so we can nag and scold them and try to make them a better person, but so we can intimately pray for them. We find we can fix each other better than we can fix ourselves. But me, a wife, can accomplish more through strategic prayer than from all her persuasive efforts. And it is a much more pleasant way to live, than stressing day by day about what Cory is doing wrong!
So today, I will pray specifically for Cory. After my dare challenge, on my hands and knees. The book suggests to: Pray for his heart. Pray for attitude. Pray for his responsibilities to God. pray for truth to replace lies. Pray for forgiveness that would replace bitterness. And pray for your heart's desires - for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy.
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you."
"You cannot change your spouse. As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heard and mold them into what you want them to be. But that's what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do- change their spouse."
Todays dare is on interceding for your spouse. We all have things that bug us about our spouses. Since mine is reading this now, it might a little weird jsut stating the things I want to change, but here is the thing. It isn't my place to change them. The books says something profound. We all know what the definition is of insanity right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But isn't that what happens every time we ladies nag, nag, nag at our spouses? Or complain that they don't something we want them to do? For example, I haven't watched an AUburn game with Cory all year for one reason. Last night I entitle him Mr. Negative Auburn Fan. (and btw WAR EAGLE) He knows it! He is one of the most negative true fans I have ever seen. And it bugs me! But reading today's lesson gives me new perspective. WHO CARES if he is negative?! That is the only thing I can really think of in his WHOLE life that he has negativity towards - that's it! And he LOVES some Auburn football! Hanging out with him is really a blessing, and I really should have been more excited that he wanted to watch the game with me! I know that is nothing compared to what some of you may be going through. But here is what the book suggests:
We have to turn it over to God. Most of us ladies long for our husbands to be more spiritual leaders in the household. But we have to turn it over to God. We are doing this dare to nurture our spouses heart by changing ourselves from the inside out. Then depend on God' for the results! Of course, we can do it alone. Why would we try? We need to focus one something more powerful that anything else we have...Prayer! Believe me, it works! Look at us?! Prayer can keep us from giving up. Pray can bring peace. Prayer can make a difference. I have had so many of you praying for us, Cory's family, my family, Cory's best friend, our friends....Prayer works! But you must remember, the God is sovereign. he might not do it our way and may not give us every little thing we wish for, but He does desire a close relationship with us, with me and with you!
There are some key points that must be in place for prayer to work. The Bible says "Confess your sins toone another and pray for one another...The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." James 5:16 This may be the answer some of us are looking for!
Isn't funny how God gives us such close insight into our spouses faults? We no them better than anyone. Wonder why? Not so we can nag and scold them and try to make them a better person, but so we can intimately pray for them. We find we can fix each other better than we can fix ourselves. But me, a wife, can accomplish more through strategic prayer than from all her persuasive efforts. And it is a much more pleasant way to live, than stressing day by day about what Cory is doing wrong!
So today, I will pray specifically for Cory. After my dare challenge, on my hands and knees. The book suggests to: Pray for his heart. Pray for attitude. Pray for his responsibilities to God. pray for truth to replace lies. Pray for forgiveness that would replace bitterness. And pray for your heart's desires - for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy.
Matthew 7:7 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you."
Monday, January 10, 2011
Day 15: Love is honorable
DARE: Chose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It my be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
Today's verse: I Pet 3:7, Live with your wives in an understanding way....and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.
Today's lesson is about showing honor. This is something that I have neglected to show Cory for some time now. I'd like to blame it on my type "A" personality, but that's no excuse. I'm not the head of this household, and I shouldn't try to be...I can't be. God didn't design me to be, and as soon as I start dishonoring the position Cory has....things falls apart!
The word itself, HONOR, has such a powerful meaning. It means to respect and treat someone with great worth. The book lists the following things to show honor to your spouse, some of which I fail tremendously. Speak clean. Be courteous and polite. When they speak, LISTEN. When asks to do something, try to accommodate and do it out of respect if possible. Honoring your spouse means giving them full attention, not talking with one eye on the tv, or one eye on Naomi (for me). And finally, when making big decisions for your family, give each mate's voice and equal opinion and influence.
The book list another word that isn't often used with marriage. It is HOLY. Holiness comes from the basis of honor. To say that we should be be 'holy' to each other, doesn't mean we will be perfect. Holiness simply means we are set apart for a higher purpose. A person who is holy to you is a person who is sacred and holds a special place in your heart, that NO ONE can take. Hence the word 'holy matrimony'. So, it seems to me that I haven't been putting Cory in that sacred place. I forgotten how sacred he was to me. How God sent him to me, when I least deserved it, and gave me a honorable man, who has loved me through it all. And I know, no matter what mistakes I have ever made, I know without a shadow of a doubt, he regards me as holy. In that sacred place of his heart, because he has stuck by me. Because he loves me. Because I'm SACRED to HIM! Real love honors when rejected. Real love treats its beloved as special and when they get that ungrateful attitude in return...and my oh my, Cory has gotten that from me day by day!
Dear God, I'm so broken. I'm so sorry for not protecting that holy spot you placed in my heart for my loving husband. I'm so sorry i didn't respect you or him.
So this is the real love dare: "Of all the relationships I have, I will value mine and Cory's the most. Of all the things I am willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for him. With all his failures (which aren't many), sins, faults and mistakes - past and present - I still chose to honor you. I still chose to love you! I still choose to be your wife...and that we never change from this day forward!"
This love dare is not about the dare any more for me. It is about understanding how God wants my marriage to be!
Today's verse: I Pet 3:7, Live with your wives in an understanding way....and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life.
Today's lesson is about showing honor. This is something that I have neglected to show Cory for some time now. I'd like to blame it on my type "A" personality, but that's no excuse. I'm not the head of this household, and I shouldn't try to be...I can't be. God didn't design me to be, and as soon as I start dishonoring the position Cory has....things falls apart!
The word itself, HONOR, has such a powerful meaning. It means to respect and treat someone with great worth. The book lists the following things to show honor to your spouse, some of which I fail tremendously. Speak clean. Be courteous and polite. When they speak, LISTEN. When asks to do something, try to accommodate and do it out of respect if possible. Honoring your spouse means giving them full attention, not talking with one eye on the tv, or one eye on Naomi (for me). And finally, when making big decisions for your family, give each mate's voice and equal opinion and influence.
The book list another word that isn't often used with marriage. It is HOLY. Holiness comes from the basis of honor. To say that we should be be 'holy' to each other, doesn't mean we will be perfect. Holiness simply means we are set apart for a higher purpose. A person who is holy to you is a person who is sacred and holds a special place in your heart, that NO ONE can take. Hence the word 'holy matrimony'. So, it seems to me that I haven't been putting Cory in that sacred place. I forgotten how sacred he was to me. How God sent him to me, when I least deserved it, and gave me a honorable man, who has loved me through it all. And I know, no matter what mistakes I have ever made, I know without a shadow of a doubt, he regards me as holy. In that sacred place of his heart, because he has stuck by me. Because he loves me. Because I'm SACRED to HIM! Real love honors when rejected. Real love treats its beloved as special and when they get that ungrateful attitude in return...and my oh my, Cory has gotten that from me day by day!
Dear God, I'm so broken. I'm so sorry for not protecting that holy spot you placed in my heart for my loving husband. I'm so sorry i didn't respect you or him.
So this is the real love dare: "Of all the relationships I have, I will value mine and Cory's the most. Of all the things I am willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for him. With all his failures (which aren't many), sins, faults and mistakes - past and present - I still chose to honor you. I still chose to love you! I still choose to be your wife...and that we never change from this day forward!"
This love dare is not about the dare any more for me. It is about understanding how God wants my marriage to be!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Day 14: Love takes delight
DARE: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together!
To all my ladies out there reading this blog. Today is for us. I know some of your stories, and you know mine. It is time to lead our hearts back out and learn to delight in our spouse once again!!
The lesson today starts by saying the most important thing that I should learn from the Love Dare is to not follow my heart. I should lead it. Don't let my feelings and emotions do the driving. Tell them where you are going. I think for me, and even yesterday as I thought I was discouraged, I decide how my day is based on feelings. I think I finally figured out yesterday that I was depressed because I hadn't been able to do anything special for Cory that day. I had a big run that morning and was so worn out all day, and spent more of my selfish time on me and getting him to do stuff for me, than I him. And I think they got to me....I was feeling very loving. But today's lesson reminds me that my heart will go through this. I won't always feel constantly thrilled at the thought of spending every moment with my spouse, although right now..I do. There will be a moment where I don't, and he doesn't either. You can have that burning desire on feelings alone. I have to make the decision to delight in my spouse and to love him no matter how long we've been together, or more importantly if the newness wears off. Love that choses to love is just as powerful as the love the feels likes loving. Does that makes sense? I think choosing to love may actually be a stronger love, than the goo-goo love we all experience.
He is going to aggravate me! But my days are too short to waste being aggravated. If I am irritable, it is because I chose to be! OUCH! If I can't function without a clean house, it is because I have decided there is no other way. OUCH! And if I criticize him more than praise him, I led MYSELF into a life of criticism.
So, today's dare is merely a radical change of heart. For me, I will take a small step of show how delighted I am in him. For some of you, it may be a huge leap, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The goal is to relearn what you love about this one to whom you have promised our love forever!
To all my ladies out there reading this blog. Today is for us. I know some of your stories, and you know mine. It is time to lead our hearts back out and learn to delight in our spouse once again!!
The lesson today starts by saying the most important thing that I should learn from the Love Dare is to not follow my heart. I should lead it. Don't let my feelings and emotions do the driving. Tell them where you are going. I think for me, and even yesterday as I thought I was discouraged, I decide how my day is based on feelings. I think I finally figured out yesterday that I was depressed because I hadn't been able to do anything special for Cory that day. I had a big run that morning and was so worn out all day, and spent more of my selfish time on me and getting him to do stuff for me, than I him. And I think they got to me....I was feeling very loving. But today's lesson reminds me that my heart will go through this. I won't always feel constantly thrilled at the thought of spending every moment with my spouse, although right now..I do. There will be a moment where I don't, and he doesn't either. You can have that burning desire on feelings alone. I have to make the decision to delight in my spouse and to love him no matter how long we've been together, or more importantly if the newness wears off. Love that choses to love is just as powerful as the love the feels likes loving. Does that makes sense? I think choosing to love may actually be a stronger love, than the goo-goo love we all experience.
He is going to aggravate me! But my days are too short to waste being aggravated. If I am irritable, it is because I chose to be! OUCH! If I can't function without a clean house, it is because I have decided there is no other way. OUCH! And if I criticize him more than praise him, I led MYSELF into a life of criticism.
So, today's dare is merely a radical change of heart. For me, I will take a small step of show how delighted I am in him. For some of you, it may be a huge leap, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The goal is to relearn what you love about this one to whom you have promised our love forever!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)