So the only way I can get past some things, is too verbalize them. I realize there a lot of you that might be reading this, but not know my whole life story. I don't even know my whole story at times. My struggle is with everything that has happened, how do you communicate well, without sounding selfish? I feel like I need to change my prayers again. Change my thought process again. Because the things the I want, the things I desire, aren't easy to express. I don't know if the wounds have healed. I don't know if I have a right to be selfish. I don't know if I have a right to desires. So, here is my prayer...

"Dear God.... I have no idea what to pray for. I have no idea what I even want to ask of you, but God you do. You know where I am weak. Lord, please somehow, someway, fill this void for me. Whatever it is my heart longs for, please fill it. I want to be all I can be for YOU, for my husband, for my daughter, for my family, for my friends, for my employees, for those I met on the path of life. But Lord - it feels empty at times. I feel lost. Can you take over? Can you change my heart so I am satisfied in your LOVE and in YOUR SPIRIT and in YOUR BLESSINGS? Please oh God...I love you."