an email I sent to my running sisters today....

So, I thought I would share with you ladies my 'ahahaha God moment' today.

This isn't meant to cast stones or judgment, but it put things in a better perspective for me this morning.

As most of you know, I was out of town last week for an audit. I was so proud of myself. I got up everyday at 5AM and spent a good 30-45 minutes with God, in prayer, devotion and worship. It felt great!!! Then, of course, I get home and set my clock for 5:15 to do the same thing...pumped! Well, Monday and Tuesday rolled by, and I didn't sleep well, so when the alarm went off at 5:15AM, I just reset if for 6:00AM and told myself, 'that will still give me time to just read through my devotion quickly'. SO, I did. By Wed, I was so out of the habit, I just set my clock for 6AM anyway. THEN TODAY HAPPENED, my alarm went off at 4:15AM, I rolled over and thought to myself, "UGH I don't want to get up and go running. I'll just text Laura and sleep in. No. I can't do that. I would let my friends down"....then ding ding ding.....GOD, "but you have been doing that to me all week!" OUCH....that hurt. I love you ladies, but I wasn't put on this earth to worship you, or running. I wasn't put here to put priorities of sleep, running, work, family, or anything else OVER MY CREATOR, OVER MY GOD! So, here is where I am. I am making this commitment to myself, to my God, and to you. My day will start with God. No rushing through it. No sleeping in. If I sleep in and eliminate my time with Him from here on out...I will not run that week. I can't make running my priority over my Savior!

Katrina

Satan!!

One thing I have found as I feel my Christian faith growing is that Satan's attacks grow too. He must feel like I am damaging his work because it seems every time God leads me a certain way, he comes to destroy me. And at times, he is successful. My prayer yesterday was for Cory and our finances so guess what happened. We got into a big fuss about something to do with money!! So much so, I don't even know if we are speaking right now. Satan has used so many things to against Gods work and I feel at times that I'm fighting with hil on this earth alone. So even though I have a set prayer to pray for Cory, and we need this prayer too, I need to pray for God to bind Satan from interfering with Gods plan, and with my marriage. I want Cory and I to fight Satan together with God. And right now, I fight with Gods help and it seems alone.

My prayer designed for Cory today is more for me. We as with any marraige really need God to take over our sexual desires and help me to be a great fulfillment for him. Unfortunately when you get married studies show it takes about two years to lose that phileo (sp?) love so that's why the agape love from God must take over. We need both of those right now. Cory seems a little unhappy lately and I'm sure that's why so I pray that this can be restored. That we can find the balance God intends for us to have. I pray that we can have open communication and remain sensitive to what each other needa and desires. I pray we can remain pure and close out any unrighteous lustful or illicit thought that comes from below. I pray that God can help deliver us from past mistakes and that He can take away anyone or anything that could tempt us. I pray that we only desire each other.

And for me, where I know I'm slacking, I pray that I realize I an important part if my ministry as a wife is to my husband sexually. Help me to committ this area to my Lord and allow Him to make it continually new and alive. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation.

TOUGH SPOT in my life!!

Finances

Today I am instructed to pray for our finances and Cory's role in that. May we both be good stewards of all that He has given us. For we have been very, very blessed. I pray that where we have made bad decisions, one God will reveal that to us, and two he will restore us and brings us wisdom and guidance. I pray that we both find it easy to give to God and to those in need, for it is all God's anyway. As the main caretaker of our finances, I pray that Cory will be able to find the perfect balance between 'my' (hehe) spending needlessly. I mostly pray that he will never be anxious about finances, but will seek His kingdom first, knowing that as He does, we have all we need. (Luke 12:31)

Praying for Cory and his work

One thing that Cory and I disagree on is his job. I don't want to get into a battle of who is is right and who is wrong because it is always so much easier to point out the grain of sand in one's eye without seeing the plank in your own, as the Bible says. So what I am praying for Cory about today is mainly his satisfaction with where God has him. It is pretty evident to me, that God still has a plan for him and for us where we are. God has shut doors for Cory that Cory was practically already standing in the doorway. Things that we felt were a shoo-in, God felt differently. We pray for His guidance for His will to be done, but sometimes trusting His decision comes as a metnal road block. I know Cory has the desire to be more successful. I know it is engrained in just about every man. But it is very hard for me to understand this. Even thouogh I am career oriented as well and have goals of my own, I still struggle with understanding the outward-appearing priorities of Cory. So, here is what I want, or where God is leading me to pray for Cory today.

Dearest most gracious God, I first want to pray that you open my eyes to the pressure that Cory feels as a man, as a husband, and as a father when it comes to his career. I pray that you help me understand it all better so that I Can be a better wife and support for him. I don't want to be this nagging wife who finds all his weaknesses, but rather his support, his guidance, and his friend and be able to offer advice with a pure heart and from you. Help him to then open his ears to listen and know I am those things for him, and help him to see my heart. That I want to help him get closer to God, and help him understand trust, satisfaction, and renewed mercies daily with You.

And God I pray that you bless the work of his hands. That his work not only bring about success and prosperity but great FULFILLMENT as well. Lord, reveal to him where you want him and what your goals for him are. Reveal to him where you can use him DAILY. Guide him down the right path. And oppositely, help him see that he doesn't have to work himself to death, or grasp at for successful gain AT ALL. For if you want him to gain, it will be miraculously from You and be a gift from You to him.

GIVE HIM THE ABILITY TO ENJOY HIS CURRENT SUCCESS WITHOUT STRIVING FOR MORE. Help him to excel, but FREE HIM FROM THE PRESSURE within himself and those close around him to do so.

Dear Heavenly father..YOU are the God of everything Please be the God of our lives, and be that DAILY. We love you! Amen

My prayer for me and Cory

Lord, please make me the kind of woman that Cory can be proud of. Make me his companion, champion, friend, and support with a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home too each day. Teach me Lord to take care of myself and stay attractive for him and be rich in mind, body and spirit. Help me to accept him the way he is and release him from the BURDEN of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking at YOU dear God. Give my husband a new wife, and please let it be me!

Katrina

Giddy Love....

So I find lately that God doesn't ever want to give up me. He usually gives me about three chances to listen. I've been reading Psalms and hearing what David had to say about his love for God. He says in Psalm 63 "O God you are my God. Earnestly I seek You. My soul thirsts for You. In a dry and weary land where there is no water."

I want this love for God. I want this live for me husband.


Dear Lord,
I want to fall in love with Cory like when we were dating. I know love changes at different times in your life, but I want that 'giddy-love' back. I know humanly it is hard to go back to that, but if I allow you to take control, it can happen. SO I give you permission! :) Amen PS...I ditto these request (X100) for you GOD!!

Isn't He good?

Isn't He good?! Isn't He good?! Hasn't he done what He said He would?!

I tell you..just when you think you don't know why God tells you to do things, He reminds you that HE IS IN CONTROL!

About 6 months ago, I decided that I wanted to go on a mission trip. Unknown to me, I really didn't want to go, but God wanted me to go. Why? Well that has yet to be determined! But I have had three experiences that prove to me that He is behind this and His plan is for me to be committed to be there.

I started having much anxiety about leaving Naomi for ten days. Would she forget me? Would she be mad at me? Could I stand how much I would miss her and worry about her? Would it just be too much for her and she break down? I started looking for reasons not to go. Then the series of events happened....

1. Cory bid on two jobs. If he got them, this meant that we would be moving about the time that I would be leaving. I told God, I'm sorry but I can't go. I can't as a mother do that to Naomi. And then guess what happened, he didn't get the jobs. I'm not saying this is why he didn't get the jobs, but I am saying that this eliminated me from saying NO to GOD.
2. Then, I got an email saying that the price tickets would be close to $300 more. I told Cory that this was my out. I didn't want to put any more money into this and maybe this was God's way of letting me out lightly. So he said pray about. And I did. I said God I need a billboard. (me and my friend Laura often joke about God giving us billboards to make it easier) "God, I don't know what to do. I have sooo much anxiety about this trip. People telling me leaving my kids for ten days would be too tough for them to do. And then other family discouraging me. Dear Lord, I need to know and I need to know clearly. I can't make this decision. I don't want to disobey you. I want to do what you want me to do. But this is so hard.. Can you help me, please Oh God?! 30 minutes later - email ding. It is Dr. Quiet, my team leader telling me that were able to get the tickets and for less than originally planned!! The only kicker would be now we would be gone for 11 days and not 10. SERIOUSLY GOD! Do I have to fight this battle with you?! So I called my friend Laura and asked her what she thought. She laughed at me and literally said, "Katrina, quit fighting with God. You have to go." (this is a true friend) I still argued but finally decided God wanted me to go. Eleven days would be tough...but I'm in. No more anxiety. I'm going.
3. Then came God's divine intervention for trusting Him. See I was already sweating that I had to be out of town for two weeks in May for Audits. And then it happened. The tornadoes. The storms. Literally. And Cory got called out for storm duty. Granted, I hate to be the one blessed in these times of sorrow and death, but God used this. Cory had to be gone for storm duty, eliminating me being gone for Naomi an extra week for audits, and guess how many days he was gone...exactly 11 days! Now, tell me that God wasn't giving me the peace of mind, that a) I got some quality time with my little girl and b) He showed me that Naomi would make it 11 days without me! She will miss me. She will ask about me. But she will be fine!

This is where God wants me. To fully rely on Him, with no strings attached! I trust you God! And I love you!