DARE: (summarized) Talk to your spouse about finding a time to pray together. Commit your concerns, disagreements and needs before the Lord and thank Him for His provision and blessing.
If you were told that there is one thing that could almost with 100% surety change your marriage if you implement it, what would it be? The book says praying together. That's a pretty bold statement. Although, believable...The unity that exists between a man and a woman who pray together is intense and powerful. When the two are joined, God gives you a prayer partner for life. Sad to say, we haven't taken advantage of it. I mean, we both pray, but the only time we pray together is at meals, and after our devotion with Naomi. I did step out on a limb and prayer with him over the phone the other night, and he prayer out loud about a crisis in our life, so I guess that's a step. it seems the closer we get to God the more we desire to talk to Him, to be with Him...just weird for me to do it together.
But here is the key, when you need wisdom for a decision, you can seek God. When you are struggling with fears and insecurities, your partner can intercede. When you are fussing (like last night for us), go to emergency prayer, which Cory did (per Naomi), but we didn't do it together. It should become an automatic response. Kind of hard to stay angry when your on your knees in reverence to God. And when the two of us come together and call on His name in harmony, God hears us.
Prayer can used as a privilege..daily. This will probably feel a little awkward and uncomfortable, the book says, and I agree, but anything as powerful as prayer will surprise us. God wants to engage with us. He invites us. He longs for the connection.
This will be a little awkward for me...but I will try, because I know it succeeds. It has worked for just me, and just him, I'm sure it can work greater for the both of us! Matthew 18:19 "If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father."
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Bible study at church...
So..I don't even know where to start! My pastor and his wife started a Bible study at church last night, and I am overwhelmed about the things I have learned. I'm going to get the book some time today, because I can't stop thinking about it. Ive said all along that when you give up and let God, He sends things your way just to give you that little boost to know He is there. I can't remember who it was in the Bible, maybe Gideon, who kept asking God...God I know you are behind this but can you give me a sign? And God did...ok God thanks for that sign, but I need another. And God did...God wants us to trust Him. And these little things he keeps sending my way scare me, yet fulfill me.
So, what I learned from Dana.... the one thing that Cory and I struggled with is me being so high maintenance. I hate being high maintenance! I'm not like that with any other relationship with my family or friends, at work, NO WHERE, but with my husband I am. And I have always hated that about me. One of mine and Cory's struggles was that I cried out wanting to feel special again. Poor Cory just couldn't win really. I already had enough sin in my heart that wouldn't let him, but I hated myself for needing so much attention from him. But last night I learned some pretty deep stuff.
God created man and woman in his image. God created everything and said 'it is good'. Except one thing, man. When He created man, He said 'this is not good'. God created man out of his image, but he couldn't create him all in his image. He created man to BE A MAN! But man can't exemplify those passionate, caring, beautiful qualities that God has as well....so He created woman. So here we have two beings, made fully in one image. Hence when we become one, we fulfill the beauty, yet 'strongness' of God. That to me is an eye opener to the things I have been struggling with in my marriage. I know..a little personal, but think about it. By being married and sharing that personal intimate moment with your spouse, you are making God happy. You are showing God his most wonderful and prized creation. So as my goal is to please God, I am pleasing my husband. Because the two of use together - are God's image! And I always just thought we were here to help man... :)
Thank you Bro Paul and Dana! I'm so excited about this study!
So, what I learned from Dana.... the one thing that Cory and I struggled with is me being so high maintenance. I hate being high maintenance! I'm not like that with any other relationship with my family or friends, at work, NO WHERE, but with my husband I am. And I have always hated that about me. One of mine and Cory's struggles was that I cried out wanting to feel special again. Poor Cory just couldn't win really. I already had enough sin in my heart that wouldn't let him, but I hated myself for needing so much attention from him. But last night I learned some pretty deep stuff.
God created man and woman in his image. God created everything and said 'it is good'. Except one thing, man. When He created man, He said 'this is not good'. God created man out of his image, but he couldn't create him all in his image. He created man to BE A MAN! But man can't exemplify those passionate, caring, beautiful qualities that God has as well....so He created woman. So here we have two beings, made fully in one image. Hence when we become one, we fulfill the beauty, yet 'strongness' of God. That to me is an eye opener to the things I have been struggling with in my marriage. I know..a little personal, but think about it. By being married and sharing that personal intimate moment with your spouse, you are making God happy. You are showing God his most wonderful and prized creation. So as my goal is to please God, I am pleasing my husband. Because the two of use together - are God's image! And I always just thought we were here to help man... :)
Thank you Bro Paul and Dana! I'm so excited about this study!
Day 36: Love IS God's Word
DARE: Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock!
As this dare is coming to an end with three more days, how amazing it has been for me! Not only has it restore my relationship with my true earthly love, Cory, it has restore my love with my true love - GOD. AS my relationship deepens, as my love grows, as my heart our longs for his embrace, I'm in awe of Him. He is my true daddy!
So today's dare, I can check off the list as DONE! AS this book has 'grown' me, I have grown into longing for my quiet time with God. And as my faith increases, I can see Cory' increase as well. I asked him a couple of weeks ago how I could pray for him, and he said pray that he would have the longing to spend more time Christ. And as he walked in the door this morning from the gym, the prayer is being answered. He was listening to a pastor that our good friend Shane has turned him on to! (Shane is Laura's husband - laura has been praying for Cory and I since the day I opened up to her - over a year- so thankful for my godly friends) Cory and I are growing closer to God at a faster pace than to each other, but I think that is a good thing. Not to make you think we aren't growing closer too, because we are...but I am amazed at how is speaking to both of us..at times separate, and at times together! How awesome is HE!
Your word is a lamp to my feet in a light to my path! Ps 119:105
My dad left me many things, but this is one thing that I will never forget. From Bible School, a cut out, laminated with this verse...and now it has more meaning that ever. As I grow closer to God, I seek His word....and his word is becoming the lamp under my feet that daddy talked about! (I'll take a pic later and show you)
For some, and me at times, the Bible seems to BIG to understand. It seems like an aimpossible challenge. But as a Christian, we aren't alone. The Holy Spirit who now lives in us, illuminates this truth. "For the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God" I Cor 2:10 God gives us these scriptures to search, to study...to live by. However, we must commit to do it.
We must commit to be in God's word. He can speak to us many places, but every single word in this Bible is not from Man, but from GOD. We must seek Him, and my what blessings He gives when we do! "With all my heart I have sought YOU...Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against YOU!"
We must stay under it! The Bible is no doubt tough to understand, but only because of lack of committment. There is no way we can understand everything God has in the Book. But our desire and longing to know it more can give us glimpse after glimpse of God's unchanging love. That's why it is so important to study God's word with other believers.
We must live it! The Bible is a living Book! Most books you just read and digest, but the Bible is intended to read, understand and LIVE. "Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers." James 1:22
We all remember the story about the man who built his house on the sand and not the rock. When the storms came, his house fell and was destroyed, but the man who built upon the rock, endured for it had been founded on the rock. So is our homes. So is our Christian walks. When we our founded upon the rock of God's Unchanging word, it is insured against destruction!
So, let's submit to God's principles, and just watch how God can change, how God can speak, and no matter what storms come our way...the plan of God is firm and will withstand the tests of time!
As this dare is coming to an end with three more days, how amazing it has been for me! Not only has it restore my relationship with my true earthly love, Cory, it has restore my love with my true love - GOD. AS my relationship deepens, as my love grows, as my heart our longs for his embrace, I'm in awe of Him. He is my true daddy!
So today's dare, I can check off the list as DONE! AS this book has 'grown' me, I have grown into longing for my quiet time with God. And as my faith increases, I can see Cory' increase as well. I asked him a couple of weeks ago how I could pray for him, and he said pray that he would have the longing to spend more time Christ. And as he walked in the door this morning from the gym, the prayer is being answered. He was listening to a pastor that our good friend Shane has turned him on to! (Shane is Laura's husband - laura has been praying for Cory and I since the day I opened up to her - over a year- so thankful for my godly friends) Cory and I are growing closer to God at a faster pace than to each other, but I think that is a good thing. Not to make you think we aren't growing closer too, because we are...but I am amazed at how is speaking to both of us..at times separate, and at times together! How awesome is HE!
Your word is a lamp to my feet in a light to my path! Ps 119:105
My dad left me many things, but this is one thing that I will never forget. From Bible School, a cut out, laminated with this verse...and now it has more meaning that ever. As I grow closer to God, I seek His word....and his word is becoming the lamp under my feet that daddy talked about! (I'll take a pic later and show you)
For some, and me at times, the Bible seems to BIG to understand. It seems like an aimpossible challenge. But as a Christian, we aren't alone. The Holy Spirit who now lives in us, illuminates this truth. "For the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God" I Cor 2:10 God gives us these scriptures to search, to study...to live by. However, we must commit to do it.
We must commit to be in God's word. He can speak to us many places, but every single word in this Bible is not from Man, but from GOD. We must seek Him, and my what blessings He gives when we do! "With all my heart I have sought YOU...Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against YOU!"
We must stay under it! The Bible is no doubt tough to understand, but only because of lack of committment. There is no way we can understand everything God has in the Book. But our desire and longing to know it more can give us glimpse after glimpse of God's unchanging love. That's why it is so important to study God's word with other believers.
We must live it! The Bible is a living Book! Most books you just read and digest, but the Bible is intended to read, understand and LIVE. "Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers." James 1:22
We all remember the story about the man who built his house on the sand and not the rock. When the storms came, his house fell and was destroyed, but the man who built upon the rock, endured for it had been founded on the rock. So is our homes. So is our Christian walks. When we our founded upon the rock of God's Unchanging word, it is insured against destruction!
So, let's submit to God's principles, and just watch how God can change, how God can speak, and no matter what storms come our way...the plan of God is firm and will withstand the tests of time!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day 35: Love is accountable
DARE: Find a marriage mentor-someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
As you can see, if you are still following me, I'm not blogging daily anymore. I don't know, maybe it is because I'm slacking, but it isn't because I'm not doing it. Lately Ive been spending more time in God;s word, because I feel that is where He has wanted me. I've come to the realization that all those times I cried out to Him for help, all those times I keep asking His advice, I didn't want it. I wanted it to appear that way. Because now, the closer I get to God, the more I hear Him. It isn't the more He speaks to me, its that I'm quiet. that I'm expecting to hear from Him....and I love being in that direct communication with Him.
The book uses the illustration of the sequoia tree. (reminds me of our poor trees at Toomer's Corner that just got poinsoned-argh) Sequoia trees our hundreds of feet tall that can sustain intense envirnoments. It is giant, but the trick is that it goes deep below the surface. They reach around with their roots and interlock around them reinfrocing their strength with others. Much is like the way a marriage should be. We need interlocking marriages who can network together and be strong for each other. This network can give us wise counsel. They can help you and advise you BEFORE you make a bad decision. And as I have found through my little tight group of such wonderful friends, they help cheer me on. When they read my dares, or know my plans, they hold me accountable. They are excited as I am when they know we have cross a bridge...and I love them for that! They cry when they know what Cory and I have over-come. They are amazing! I can't even express in words to you or even to God, how thankful I am for them!
The Bible says to encourage one another day after day...so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Heb 3:13 Crazy how this verse now has meaning to me. I know from experience, that sin hardens your heart. It controls you. But God put people in my life so that I would quit isolate myself, and quit pushing those I love away. I now now, I have to guard my heart against any wrong influences. I can have people in my life who push me toward. Hence why I have that wonderful group of friends I've never had before. One thing for sure.....never take marriage advice from someone who doesn't have a good marriage. How foolish is that?
I don't know about this mentor thing. I had a vision of a mentor in my life. I wanted someone who is older, yet loving, someone who can handle my craziness with patience...but I don't know. I am leaving that up to God, and see how He wants to handle this. I have some pretty good mentors now, who talk me through a lot. I don't think I could find ladies who hold me accountable. Thank-you girls!
As you can see, if you are still following me, I'm not blogging daily anymore. I don't know, maybe it is because I'm slacking, but it isn't because I'm not doing it. Lately Ive been spending more time in God;s word, because I feel that is where He has wanted me. I've come to the realization that all those times I cried out to Him for help, all those times I keep asking His advice, I didn't want it. I wanted it to appear that way. Because now, the closer I get to God, the more I hear Him. It isn't the more He speaks to me, its that I'm quiet. that I'm expecting to hear from Him....and I love being in that direct communication with Him.
The book uses the illustration of the sequoia tree. (reminds me of our poor trees at Toomer's Corner that just got poinsoned-argh) Sequoia trees our hundreds of feet tall that can sustain intense envirnoments. It is giant, but the trick is that it goes deep below the surface. They reach around with their roots and interlock around them reinfrocing their strength with others. Much is like the way a marriage should be. We need interlocking marriages who can network together and be strong for each other. This network can give us wise counsel. They can help you and advise you BEFORE you make a bad decision. And as I have found through my little tight group of such wonderful friends, they help cheer me on. When they read my dares, or know my plans, they hold me accountable. They are excited as I am when they know we have cross a bridge...and I love them for that! They cry when they know what Cory and I have over-come. They are amazing! I can't even express in words to you or even to God, how thankful I am for them!
The Bible says to encourage one another day after day...so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Heb 3:13 Crazy how this verse now has meaning to me. I know from experience, that sin hardens your heart. It controls you. But God put people in my life so that I would quit isolate myself, and quit pushing those I love away. I now now, I have to guard my heart against any wrong influences. I can have people in my life who push me toward. Hence why I have that wonderful group of friends I've never had before. One thing for sure.....never take marriage advice from someone who doesn't have a good marriage. How foolish is that?
I don't know about this mentor thing. I had a vision of a mentor in my life. I wanted someone who is older, yet loving, someone who can handle my craziness with patience...but I don't know. I am leaving that up to God, and see how He wants to handle this. I have some pretty good mentors now, who talk me through a lot. I don't think I could find ladies who hold me accountable. Thank-you girls!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
As you can see, this love dare isn't going day by day for me like it should. It isn't that I am not spending time with God, or spending time working on my marriage...it just seems that God has a way of timing everything. The last 20 love dares are very deep, and very tough. I had no problem with going out of my way to do something nice for Cory. But I have had deeper struggles lately that I have wrestled with God about. The great thing is, my struggle now is not about getting out of marriage...it is about making it better. It is about making it more wonderful...it is about GOD!
Valentine's Day this year was great. Simple, but great. I didn't get roses, by request. ( I really don't care for roses) But I did get something very thoughtful. You might not think so, but I do. Poor Cory..he is learning still, but this time he did great! Without even remembering I asked for this years ago, he bought me a very nice coat and umbrella rack for the foyer. It is gorgeous. He picked it out by himself, and had it a day early. (that is probably the best part) The two things that makes a gift perfect for me is 1. thought and 2. ON TIME! He was able to do both, and buy me something I love! He even bought flowers for me and Naomi....I love him dearly and as day by day goes by...our love gets stronger and stronger.
I miss him tonight...hence how I got time to blog...he is out of town. I remember days where I counted down to nights he would be gone....days I wouldn't have to see him or even be in the same room with him...not because it was his fault, because Satan had me right where he wanted me. But now, tonight, I tear up thinking, my best friend isn't in the other room...
Valentine's Day this year was great. Simple, but great. I didn't get roses, by request. ( I really don't care for roses) But I did get something very thoughtful. You might not think so, but I do. Poor Cory..he is learning still, but this time he did great! Without even remembering I asked for this years ago, he bought me a very nice coat and umbrella rack for the foyer. It is gorgeous. He picked it out by himself, and had it a day early. (that is probably the best part) The two things that makes a gift perfect for me is 1. thought and 2. ON TIME! He was able to do both, and buy me something I love! He even bought flowers for me and Naomi....I love him dearly and as day by day goes by...our love gets stronger and stronger.
I miss him tonight...hence how I got time to blog...he is out of town. I remember days where I counted down to nights he would be gone....days I wouldn't have to see him or even be in the same room with him...not because it was his fault, because Satan had me right where he wanted me. But now, tonight, I tear up thinking, my best friend isn't in the other room...
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 34 cont....
So, back to yesterdays dare...
from the moment you get out of the Word, Satan comes. We all have some type of temptation throughout our day. Satan will put things in our head that says 'your spouse is dressing up and looking good for someone else' or 'its ok to watch this movie with bad language' or 'church isn't important'. All of these things are from the devil no doubt. And some times, they are said so eloquently or so loudly, we believe them, even as Christians.
But when we began to truly understand God's word and understand what real living is, our principles change. In our marriage, when we see our spouse doing something that is getting them closer to God, instead of listening to Satan tearing them down, we should be proud. we may constantly see our spouse succeed at things, but what makes us more excited? When they help clean the house, or when they gather the family for a devotion? When they do a good job at work, or when they help neighbor who needs something. We should rejoice most when we do things that please God. We should be thrilled! And we should tell them.... "be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience."
from the moment you get out of the Word, Satan comes. We all have some type of temptation throughout our day. Satan will put things in our head that says 'your spouse is dressing up and looking good for someone else' or 'its ok to watch this movie with bad language' or 'church isn't important'. All of these things are from the devil no doubt. And some times, they are said so eloquently or so loudly, we believe them, even as Christians.
But when we began to truly understand God's word and understand what real living is, our principles change. In our marriage, when we see our spouse doing something that is getting them closer to God, instead of listening to Satan tearing them down, we should be proud. we may constantly see our spouse succeed at things, but what makes us more excited? When they help clean the house, or when they gather the family for a devotion? When they do a good job at work, or when they help neighbor who needs something. We should rejoice most when we do things that please God. We should be thrilled! And we should tell them.... "be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day 34: Love celebrates godliness
DARE: Find a specific , recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point.
AS i read today's dare, My mind drifts off to things I'm struggling with. Things I shouldn't struggle with. Things that Satan wants to bind between us. My God is greater, My God is stronger, God you are higher than any other! I just realized that I'm still trying to fix things. I have to quit. Dear God, please just take this little burden from me, and take control, just like you have done before! I want my marriage to be blessed!
As we sit and do Bible studies, as we dig into God's word...as soon....well just interrupted with "Fix me Chocolate milk please..." Guess today's will be finished tonight! hehehe
AS i read today's dare, My mind drifts off to things I'm struggling with. Things I shouldn't struggle with. Things that Satan wants to bind between us. My God is greater, My God is stronger, God you are higher than any other! I just realized that I'm still trying to fix things. I have to quit. Dear God, please just take this little burden from me, and take control, just like you have done before! I want my marriage to be blessed!
As we sit and do Bible studies, as we dig into God's word...as soon....well just interrupted with "Fix me Chocolate milk please..." Guess today's will be finished tonight! hehehe
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 33: Love Completes each Other
dARE: Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input int he past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
The Bible says that "two are better than one because they have a good return for labor. For if either of them Falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up." This is the way God designed a marriage. Man and Woman are made for each other. We are made to balance each other out. When one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is there to encourage. The problem is that sometimes we focus too much on our differences and let us create a wedge between us. For example, one may cook, one may not. One may clean better. One may issue discipline better. One may be generous while one is protective of the money. Either way, we are meant to fit together. We have to learn to accept these distinctions between ourselves in our mate. If we don't, we might have wasted opportunities. We must take advantage of our uniqueness, because that is probably what drew us together in the first place.
Your partner is here to help you. Cory is here to help me, make decisions, around the house, with Naomi - I use him quite a bit. I am so thankful for his willingness to be a team and not make me do everything. There wa a time when I felt that way..but it wasn't his fault. I gave him no reason to desire to help me, and when he did, I tried to act like he didn't it out obligation, not love. But now I know everything we do is out of obligation, and LOVE. We have chores, we may not like um, but we do them because they have to be done, and because we want to help our partner - to keep from going crazy! Right hun?!
Joined together, we are greater than our parts. We need each other. We complete each other!
The Bible says that "two are better than one because they have a good return for labor. For if either of them Falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up." This is the way God designed a marriage. Man and Woman are made for each other. We are made to balance each other out. When one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is there to encourage. The problem is that sometimes we focus too much on our differences and let us create a wedge between us. For example, one may cook, one may not. One may clean better. One may issue discipline better. One may be generous while one is protective of the money. Either way, we are meant to fit together. We have to learn to accept these distinctions between ourselves in our mate. If we don't, we might have wasted opportunities. We must take advantage of our uniqueness, because that is probably what drew us together in the first place.
Your partner is here to help you. Cory is here to help me, make decisions, around the house, with Naomi - I use him quite a bit. I am so thankful for his willingness to be a team and not make me do everything. There wa a time when I felt that way..but it wasn't his fault. I gave him no reason to desire to help me, and when he did, I tried to act like he didn't it out obligation, not love. But now I know everything we do is out of obligation, and LOVE. We have chores, we may not like um, but we do them because they have to be done, and because we want to help our partner - to keep from going crazy! Right hun?!
Joined together, we are greater than our parts. We need each other. We complete each other!
Day 32: synopsis
So, for those wondering, and probably Cory too, I didn't accomplish yesterday's dare...but I will. Haven't been feeling well lately, so maybe today is a brand new day!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day 32: Love meets Sexual Needs
DARE: I'm not listing the dare today....in case Cory reads it. I will tell you it later! :)
So, today is all about sex. Or 'making love', whoopy, whatever your choice of terms may be...Today is personal for me. I don't know who out there is reading this. SO I don't know how much detail I want to get, but it is no doubt that in a marriage that struggles for three years, this is one aspect that someone pulls away from. And of course, this time, being me. Why my husband stayed with me, and remained faithful that long when I didn't meet his physical needs, I have no idea! But I do know that he is a blessing from God and maybe that ole procrastinating fault he has, turned out to be a blessing for me!
God created sex. God created unity. The problem is that society has made it so ugly and such a sin. I have made it that way too. God's purposes is for us to become one with our mate while pursuing holiness. God wants it to be beautiful acts of expressions, like Song of Solomon, where each responds to the other. We are to express honesty and understanding in sexual matters and this leads to a confident love together.
The marriage bed is to be undefiled. (Heb 13:4) We are not to share this experience with someone else. But we are weak. If this need goes unmet, because of being treated as being selfish and demanding by the other, our hearts can draw away. This of course can lead to being tempted to fulfill this longing somewhere else. But that is why god created this 'one flesh' mentality. The husband has authority over the wife's body, and the wife over the husbands. Kind of weird to think about. Our body is not ours, but our husbands. If he wants it, we should give it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining chip, but it should be used as giving of ourselves to each other to meet the other's needs.
So the Bible warns, 'stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of lack of self-control'. I am the one person God called to meet Cory's needs. I can't allow distance to grow any longer between us in this area, because I am rightfully his. We must not violate this unity of marriage. The path to accomplishing this entangles all the things of this love dare - patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protections, honor and forgiveness - so let this with god be the foundation of your marriage and friendship, so that sexual relations can be enjoyed at a level this world can not know.
"You have been bought with a price" Now I must pay the price to win the heart of my mate. When you do, you will enjoy the pure delight that flows when sex is done for the right reasons.....and if that is not enough, you will also have the opportunity to glorify God in your body! It is meant to be beautiful!
Prayers please....As much as I love sex, and as good as Cory is....I have become stagnant. I want that fire back! I have an idea....let you know! (not details I promise)
So, today is all about sex. Or 'making love', whoopy, whatever your choice of terms may be...Today is personal for me. I don't know who out there is reading this. SO I don't know how much detail I want to get, but it is no doubt that in a marriage that struggles for three years, this is one aspect that someone pulls away from. And of course, this time, being me. Why my husband stayed with me, and remained faithful that long when I didn't meet his physical needs, I have no idea! But I do know that he is a blessing from God and maybe that ole procrastinating fault he has, turned out to be a blessing for me!
God created sex. God created unity. The problem is that society has made it so ugly and such a sin. I have made it that way too. God's purposes is for us to become one with our mate while pursuing holiness. God wants it to be beautiful acts of expressions, like Song of Solomon, where each responds to the other. We are to express honesty and understanding in sexual matters and this leads to a confident love together.
The marriage bed is to be undefiled. (Heb 13:4) We are not to share this experience with someone else. But we are weak. If this need goes unmet, because of being treated as being selfish and demanding by the other, our hearts can draw away. This of course can lead to being tempted to fulfill this longing somewhere else. But that is why god created this 'one flesh' mentality. The husband has authority over the wife's body, and the wife over the husbands. Kind of weird to think about. Our body is not ours, but our husbands. If he wants it, we should give it. It shouldn't be used as a bargaining chip, but it should be used as giving of ourselves to each other to meet the other's needs.
So the Bible warns, 'stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of lack of self-control'. I am the one person God called to meet Cory's needs. I can't allow distance to grow any longer between us in this area, because I am rightfully his. We must not violate this unity of marriage. The path to accomplishing this entangles all the things of this love dare - patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protections, honor and forgiveness - so let this with god be the foundation of your marriage and friendship, so that sexual relations can be enjoyed at a level this world can not know.
"You have been bought with a price" Now I must pay the price to win the heart of my mate. When you do, you will enjoy the pure delight that flows when sex is done for the right reasons.....and if that is not enough, you will also have the opportunity to glorify God in your body! It is meant to be beautiful!
Prayers please....As much as I love sex, and as good as Cory is....I have become stagnant. I want that fire back! I have an idea....let you know! (not details I promise)
Monday, February 7, 2011
couples
Sooo many couples out their struggling. Satan knows where to attack. God gave us marriage to try and began to understand His love for us. Satan knows this. God uses marriage to represent His relationship with us. Satan knows this! Satan is a force who is stronger than we realize. He can attack us when we least expect. Our job is to remember who our daddy is, and remember He is WAYYYYYYYY stronger than that mean ole satan. Pray over your spouse...pray of your marriage!
Day 31: Love and Marriage
DARE: Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make ti right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Genesis 2:24 A man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Today's lessons are really about simply leaving your old relationships, and becoming one with your spouse. Although it is tied into leaving your parents, and getting away from them, and it can really be with any relationship. Any tie you have with another person can stand in between you and your spouse. God knows that you can't be tied to two people. That is why He commands you to break away.
We don't have problems with our parents intruding in our lives. They let go, and let us live our life. I'm sure there are moments on both sides where we disagreed with how things were handled, but all in all we are all on the same page. They do their things and we do ours, and often all of us find time to visit with each other. The good thing is we all let go. The book says that sometimes this is one sided and either the parents want to hang on or the new couple, but this can't be done. God declared you to be one flesh with your spouse to allow you to:
-achieve oneness in your decisions
-achieve oneness in our priorities
-achieve oneness in your sexual affections
Achieving oneness in your marriage makes anything possible. This dare can really be about achieving that oneness with your spouse. Something I need to work on....
Genesis 2:24 A man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Today's lessons are really about simply leaving your old relationships, and becoming one with your spouse. Although it is tied into leaving your parents, and getting away from them, and it can really be with any relationship. Any tie you have with another person can stand in between you and your spouse. God knows that you can't be tied to two people. That is why He commands you to break away.
We don't have problems with our parents intruding in our lives. They let go, and let us live our life. I'm sure there are moments on both sides where we disagreed with how things were handled, but all in all we are all on the same page. They do their things and we do ours, and often all of us find time to visit with each other. The good thing is we all let go. The book says that sometimes this is one sided and either the parents want to hang on or the new couple, but this can't be done. God declared you to be one flesh with your spouse to allow you to:
-achieve oneness in your decisions
-achieve oneness in our priorities
-achieve oneness in your sexual affections
Achieving oneness in your marriage makes anything possible. This dare can really be about achieving that oneness with your spouse. Something I need to work on....
Thursday, February 3, 2011
prayer
So I ask Cory what I could pray for him yesterday. He asked me to pray for him to be the godly leader of our home and pray that God's will in His life be revealed and he is receptive.
This is a big and general pray for me. I need to find out more details on what He is seeking for God's will. I don't know if it is work, or something God is laying on His heart for ministry. All I know is we are both hopefully growing closer to God...and becoming a tighter family-that cannot be broken!
This is a big and general pray for me. I need to find out more details on what He is seeking for God's will. I don't know if it is work, or something God is laying on His heart for ministry. All I know is we are both hopefully growing closer to God...and becoming a tighter family-that cannot be broken!
Day 30: Love Brings Unity
Dare: Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
John 17:11 Father, keep them in Your name, the name which you have given Me, that they may be one even as we are.
To try and get a grasp on God's intention of being one with our spouse, we have to have a better understanding of the trinity. I've always known about the trinity, and got it to some degree, but understanding it is very tough. Today's lesson helps me do that, and helps me relate it to my unity with Cory.
From the begging of the Bible written over 1600 years ago, we see the trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The spirit moved over the surface of the waters. The son who is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature. And God said 'Let US make man in OUR imagine, according to OUR likeness. These three are a pristine unity who serve, love, and honor each other - much like God designed the marriage. Though they are equal - they rejoice when one is praised, though distinct- they are one, indivisible. This represents the grandeur of God, and this is what He has chosen for us to experience. One flesh. Two lives intertwined and God uses marriage to explain His love for His church.
The bride(church) is most honored with he Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. I just realized something - As I was reading the Bride, I'm sitting her thinking -yeh Cory should read this. This is why I need so much attention, because I need him to worship me - but that was all wrong. What i need to do for my marriage is present myself to Cory as blameless, without stain - yeh I'm going to make mistakes, but I must strive to be a godly woman. Cory feels honored when I am godly; when I am holy. That's the beauty of this unified relationship. So here is what the book says:
Wife- "What would happen if you made it your mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with your husband? What if every threat to you unity was treated as a poison, a cancer, and enemy to be eliminated by love, humility, and selfishness? what would your marriage become if you were never again willing to see your oneness torn apart?" I ask Cory last night during church why Satan had stopped stopped attacking our marriage. Not that I'm complaining, but it seems once we shut the door on him, he just slipped away. Of course, he is looking for other areas to attack me on - like work, and sickness - but he has left our marriage alone for now. Cory smiled and said, " He is tired. we wore him out" I guess he is right, he had to work so hard to tear to up apart. Even with sin in our lives, we still had God's unity holding us together. He would try and break it, and God, Cory and I held on - somehow, and now we have that three cord strain mentioned in the Bible that is hard to break.
Therefore - LOVE YOUR Spouse who as much as part of the body of Christ, and as much a part of your body - as you are! Let's Raise our spouses up today!
John 17:11 Father, keep them in Your name, the name which you have given Me, that they may be one even as we are.
To try and get a grasp on God's intention of being one with our spouse, we have to have a better understanding of the trinity. I've always known about the trinity, and got it to some degree, but understanding it is very tough. Today's lesson helps me do that, and helps me relate it to my unity with Cory.
From the begging of the Bible written over 1600 years ago, we see the trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The spirit moved over the surface of the waters. The son who is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature. And God said 'Let US make man in OUR imagine, according to OUR likeness. These three are a pristine unity who serve, love, and honor each other - much like God designed the marriage. Though they are equal - they rejoice when one is praised, though distinct- they are one, indivisible. This represents the grandeur of God, and this is what He has chosen for us to experience. One flesh. Two lives intertwined and God uses marriage to explain His love for His church.
The bride(church) is most honored with he Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. I just realized something - As I was reading the Bride, I'm sitting her thinking -yeh Cory should read this. This is why I need so much attention, because I need him to worship me - but that was all wrong. What i need to do for my marriage is present myself to Cory as blameless, without stain - yeh I'm going to make mistakes, but I must strive to be a godly woman. Cory feels honored when I am godly; when I am holy. That's the beauty of this unified relationship. So here is what the book says:
Wife- "What would happen if you made it your mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with your husband? What if every threat to you unity was treated as a poison, a cancer, and enemy to be eliminated by love, humility, and selfishness? what would your marriage become if you were never again willing to see your oneness torn apart?" I ask Cory last night during church why Satan had stopped stopped attacking our marriage. Not that I'm complaining, but it seems once we shut the door on him, he just slipped away. Of course, he is looking for other areas to attack me on - like work, and sickness - but he has left our marriage alone for now. Cory smiled and said, " He is tired. we wore him out" I guess he is right, he had to work so hard to tear to up apart. Even with sin in our lives, we still had God's unity holding us together. He would try and break it, and God, Cory and I held on - somehow, and now we have that three cord strain mentioned in the Bible that is hard to break.
Therefore - LOVE YOUR Spouse who as much as part of the body of Christ, and as much a part of your body - as you are! Let's Raise our spouses up today!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
"LOVE MOTIVATED BY MERE DUTY CANNOT HOLD OUT FOR VERY LONG. AND LOVE THAT IS ONLY MOTIVATED BY FAVORABLE CONDITIONS CAN NEVER BE ASSURED OF SUFFICIENT OXYGEN TO KEEP IT BREATHING. ONLY LOVE THAT IS LIFTED UP AS AN OFFERING TO GOD -RETURNED TO HIM IN GRATITUDE FOR ALL HE HAS DONE - IS ABLE TO SUSTAIN ITSELF WHEN ALL OTHER REASONS HAVE LOST THEIR ABILITY TO ENERGIZE US." The Love Dare
in other words - we must love because it is our duty! God created us for this - and we will never survive without Him and his love!
in other words - we must love because it is our duty! God created us for this - and we will never survive without Him and his love!
Day 29: Love's Motivation
DARE:Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you", and the express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person -UNCONDITIONALLY, the way HE loves both of you.
Alright ladies....get on board with me. Today is what the whole dare is about - our motivation.
Ephesians 6:7 Render service with a good attitude as to the Lord and not to men.
So here is the question is ask myself, "Why do I love Cory?" If it is because of all those things I mentioned on a previous dare, you know the one where I said he is hot over and over again? Well, guess what? That isn't love! And i just learned that - that is lust. That is what drew me to him. Today's lesson is about unconditional love.
It didn't take long into the marriage or even dating to realize that Cory is not always going to motivate me to love him. There are actually times he does things to de-motivate my love for him - like farting in places other than the bathroom (I know I'm weird right?), picking at his callaces (sp?), and I'm sure I can name more....but even deeper. There may be times when I want to express my love to him, and refuses it. The book says this is normal, even in healthy relationships. Moods and emotions change, but one thing is guaranteed, GOD is our reason for loving our spouse. That's because ALL love comes from HIM!
Here are some things the book says to think about and what our goals in our life should be:
WORK: Col 3:23 Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men
SERVICE: Col 3:22 Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.
EVERYTHING: Work hard at whatever you do, knowing that form the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Col 3:23-24
MARRIAGE: Wives be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Eph 5:25
Wow..those are tough! I'm tying this at work, because our internet is down at the house, and read them to a co-worker...we laughed about the first three because we are facing struggles at work...but it is amazing how if we just plant the right seed of love, God will bless us...it will change out attitudes towards everything, even a stressful job and stressful marriage.
Love that is demanded from me in a marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness of suitability. I might need to say that again to let it sink in. Love that is demanded from me in a marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness of suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the LORD with devotion and sincerity. This has to be a change of focus - We have to be able to wake up and know that God is our source and supply and that changes the whole reason to interact and love your mate, and everyone around you.
I know the situations of some of you reading this. Your husbands may be tuning you out and acting uninterested and you feel HURT! Don't battle this back with silence and inattention. Love him anyway. "As to the Lord"
Alright ladies....get on board with me. Today is what the whole dare is about - our motivation.
Ephesians 6:7 Render service with a good attitude as to the Lord and not to men.
So here is the question is ask myself, "Why do I love Cory?" If it is because of all those things I mentioned on a previous dare, you know the one where I said he is hot over and over again? Well, guess what? That isn't love! And i just learned that - that is lust. That is what drew me to him. Today's lesson is about unconditional love.
It didn't take long into the marriage or even dating to realize that Cory is not always going to motivate me to love him. There are actually times he does things to de-motivate my love for him - like farting in places other than the bathroom (I know I'm weird right?), picking at his callaces (sp?), and I'm sure I can name more....but even deeper. There may be times when I want to express my love to him, and refuses it. The book says this is normal, even in healthy relationships. Moods and emotions change, but one thing is guaranteed, GOD is our reason for loving our spouse. That's because ALL love comes from HIM!
Here are some things the book says to think about and what our goals in our life should be:
WORK: Col 3:23 Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men
SERVICE: Col 3:22 Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.
EVERYTHING: Work hard at whatever you do, knowing that form the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Col 3:23-24
MARRIAGE: Wives be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Eph 5:25
Wow..those are tough! I'm tying this at work, because our internet is down at the house, and read them to a co-worker...we laughed about the first three because we are facing struggles at work...but it is amazing how if we just plant the right seed of love, God will bless us...it will change out attitudes towards everything, even a stressful job and stressful marriage.
Love that is demanded from me in a marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness of suitability. I might need to say that again to let it sink in. Love that is demanded from me in a marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness of suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the LORD with devotion and sincerity. This has to be a change of focus - We have to be able to wake up and know that God is our source and supply and that changes the whole reason to interact and love your mate, and everyone around you.
I know the situations of some of you reading this. Your husbands may be tuning you out and acting uninterested and you feel HURT! Don't battle this back with silence and inattention. Love him anyway. "As to the Lord"
Text from Cory....
Yesterday I got a text from Cory that meant the world to me. Long story that i will shorten for you is that I ended up getting strep throat. I also check Naomi to see if she had it to, and thought she might. So, after I got done with the doctor and I went and picked her up and took her...and yep, they thought she had it to. When I told Cory, this is what he sent to me
"....I sure am glad you looked in her throat this morning and caught that...you probably caught it on the front end before she got really sick...Good job MOM!"
Now to some of you, this might not mean much, but for me it meant the world. Cory has mentioned to be me before that I was a good mom, but usually it I was in the middle of fighting and me whining about him never complimenting me. But today, he noticed, on his own, how much I care for Naomi and how much I do for her. He complimented me in a way that meant everything to me! AND THEN, he left work on his lunch break and went and picked up her medicine for me so I could get her home and get her fed and rested.
So, so what if I haven't gotten flowers since this dare, who cares about that stuff? The fact is..he thinks I'm a good MOM... but I can't forget that my main goal is to be a good WIFE! Still working on that compliment... :)
"....I sure am glad you looked in her throat this morning and caught that...you probably caught it on the front end before she got really sick...Good job MOM!"
Now to some of you, this might not mean much, but for me it meant the world. Cory has mentioned to be me before that I was a good mom, but usually it I was in the middle of fighting and me whining about him never complimenting me. But today, he noticed, on his own, how much I care for Naomi and how much I do for her. He complimented me in a way that meant everything to me! AND THEN, he left work on his lunch break and went and picked up her medicine for me so I could get her home and get her fed and rested.
So, so what if I haven't gotten flowers since this dare, who cares about that stuff? The fact is..he thinks I'm a good MOM... but I can't forget that my main goal is to be a good WIFE! Still working on that compliment... :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 28: Love makes sacrifices
Dare: What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? IS there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can do to meet that need.
This has been a rough couple of weeks for me. I'm at the point where I really don't even want to work anymore, which if you know very well....that's crazy talk! I haven't felt good the last couple of days, and am just worn slap out with everything going on. But today's dare is about sacrifice. I have just realized that I have been so focussed on do the things for other people, and myself, I haven't really dont anything special for Cory lately, but yet, he needs that too. Today's dare is about sacrifice. It's about genuinely caring for your spouse. Making sure we understand when they are under pain or pressure. Instead of seeing our spouse as complaining and bickering, see it in love...and do what you can to help. A couple of things the book mentioned:
Is he hungry and needing sex even when you don't want it?
Is he thirsty and craving attention that you are giving someone else?
Does he feel like a stranger and find safety in home?
Is he naked and ashamed and desperate for your love?
Is he feeling sick and tired of needing you to help him free of interruptions?
Does he feel in prison and has become fearful and depressed?
I know I can see moments where Cory was each of these. I wasn't giving him the things he needed on every level. But Praise God he was brought up to never give up and he stuck with me. Praise God he has an attitude of forgiveness and commitment that his parents put in Him. But I have to continue to meet these needs..because I want to, because of love.
Love has to make sacrifices. How can this work...by simply stating "what can I do for you?" Show those eyes of compassion and eyes of commitment, and be sincere!
This has been a rough couple of weeks for me. I'm at the point where I really don't even want to work anymore, which if you know very well....that's crazy talk! I haven't felt good the last couple of days, and am just worn slap out with everything going on. But today's dare is about sacrifice. I have just realized that I have been so focussed on do the things for other people, and myself, I haven't really dont anything special for Cory lately, but yet, he needs that too. Today's dare is about sacrifice. It's about genuinely caring for your spouse. Making sure we understand when they are under pain or pressure. Instead of seeing our spouse as complaining and bickering, see it in love...and do what you can to help. A couple of things the book mentioned:
Is he hungry and needing sex even when you don't want it?
Is he thirsty and craving attention that you are giving someone else?
Does he feel like a stranger and find safety in home?
Is he naked and ashamed and desperate for your love?
Is he feeling sick and tired of needing you to help him free of interruptions?
Does he feel in prison and has become fearful and depressed?
I know I can see moments where Cory was each of these. I wasn't giving him the things he needed on every level. But Praise God he was brought up to never give up and he stuck with me. Praise God he has an attitude of forgiveness and commitment that his parents put in Him. But I have to continue to meet these needs..because I want to, because of love.
Love has to make sacrifices. How can this work...by simply stating "what can I do for you?" Show those eyes of compassion and eyes of commitment, and be sincere!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)