I always ask God for billboards. I figure He knows how stubborn I am so He knows i need black and white answers. But after my devotion this morning, and after thinking about it on the way to work, I act like God wants to trick me or something. God doesn't want to play games with me and make me search for what He wants. He just wants me to seek Him. Seek His plan. I often have to relate it to my own kids. Sometimes I have to prove to Naomi that she can think and make good decisions on her own. She just has to seek God and remember to talk and listen to Him. The same with Father. He can give me answers every where I turn. Whether it be a billboard, a simple word from my husband or a friend, a situation, and the list goes on and on. Today, I want to be like Samuel..."Speak God. Your servant is listening."

Patience

I haven't wrote anything in awhile. Been busy with work, kids, church, etc. But today I feel a need to get some thoughts down. I may have to start doing this every day again. It seems I was closest to God when I was writing what I was learning. And I miss that. Today I couldn't stop crying this morning. So many people in my life are struggling with their marriages and it breaks my heart. I want to get my story out so bad, but trying to learn to wait on Him more. I want to use it when He wants me to and not of my own doing. Not to mention, Cory has the better story. I pray God will open up a door for both of us...a way to help others and proclaim that God is how we made it! A way to give HIm the glory..not of ourselves..but HIM!

strength

Dear Lord,

Please give me strength to make it day by day. I know that I MUST rely on YOU and only you for comfort. I don't want to be dependent on anyone but You.

Your child!

Wisdom

Every devotion, Sunday school lesson, everywhere I turn, God is wanting me to ask for wisdom. I am begging for it now. To say the right things, to listen at the right moment, to let God speak through me. How hard is that?! UGH....HARD!

My prayer journal

1. Cory's life and how he can become closer to God and lead our family
2. Naomi's life and how God can use her
3. Tamera and Jim to find God
4. August - HEALING
5. Work - to find joy
6. Sole2Soul Sisters - to reach ladies and win to Father!

Bible days

My mind has been wondering today:

1. How can someone so smart, creative, loving, etc. create this world, and yet wnat to have a personal relationship with me?
2. Why do we let sin separate us from the faith that Father can do anything?

Nagging Wife

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Proverbs 21:9 ESV / 105 helpful votes

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

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Proverbs 27:15 ESV / 76 helpful votes

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

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Proverbs 21:19 ESV / 76 helpful votes

It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

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Proverbs 25:24 ESV / 56 helpful votes

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

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1 Peter 3:1-2 ESV / 38 helpful votes

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

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Proverbs 19:13 ESV / 37 helpful votes

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.

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Ephesians 5:21-33 ESV / 29 helpful votes

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ...

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1 Peter 5:3 ESV / 12 helpful votes

Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

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Ephesians 5:24 ESV / 12 helpful votes

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

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Proverbs 18:22 ESV / 12 helpful votes

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Am I a Crown or a Cancer to Cory?

Husband

Thank you Lord for the wonderful husband you have given me. Help me to dwell on the things that he excels out, and praying for the Holy Spirit will control me and helping him grown in areas that he needs to grow in. He is such an amazing husband, and supports everything crazy idea I have.

Points I'm learning:
1. I his wife to help him learn how to lead the family
2. He doesn't need me to nag him and condemn him
3. I should work on respect to him with my head, my heart and my hands!

Prayer

Who do you pray for? What do you pray for? I pray for those things that are close to my heart. But God says, Pray for your enemies. You can't just love your enemies by not hating them. You are, I am to pray for them. The Supreme Demand from Scripture.

Worship

I jsut wonder how prepared I will be when I get to heaven and see Jesus face to face. I want to just throw myself at His feet and worship Him. However, I have been convicted lately about my response to worship. Do I worship Him with everything I have? Am I worshiping Him enough so I will be ready to face Him one day? I think not....I must worship daily in everything I do. I want to be ready.

Andy Stanley

Salvation is free...it will cost you nothing.

Following Christ will cost you something.

Refusing to follow Christ, will cost you...everything!

Jesus

My devotion today was on Jesus. God in flesh. How often I just that phrase without really thinking it through. Jesus...God in flesh. Not Jesus...God as God...but flesh. He took on the same temptations, the same desires, the same everything, just to dwell among us. It would be like me sending Naomi to a bad city or neighborhood just so she can dwell among them and love them, even though they persecute and abuse her daily. God did that for us. Jesus did that for us. How often I forget the sacrifice He made, the struggles he faced...just for me.

"Gongusmon"

Philippians 2:14-16 says

14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.

The word used is gongusmon which means whining and complaining. My devotion said it is kind of funny how this word is pronounced and sounds like "gone goose mon" What a weird word. But yet so profound...God says do EVERYTHING. Not the things we like, not when we feel joyful and are in good moods, but EVERYTHING without grumbling or arguing. Sometimes, no a lot of times, this is extremely hard! WE think we deserve to be treated better. We think we deserve more respect. We are on situations daily where we think we have been wrong including work, home, with friends, church, and everywhere else we are. But we don't. If we truly got what we deserve, it would be much worse than what we go through daily. So today..my focus...do EVERYTHING without using grumbling for fear of being classified as a 'gongusmonite'

:)

Selfishness

Selfishness: thinking we deserve more for our lives, from our husbands, from our employers. God portrays the absolute selflessness. We abuse Him, spit on Him, curse Him, daily....yet we don't deserve His forgiveness, His grace. And yet, we whine we our spouse or our employers treat us bad. We deserve to be treated bad by everyone, including God. My prayer - a little less selfishness, and a little more selflessness.

We don't deserve anything good our spouse or friends, or job can give us!

Friend with Benefits...

AS work gets harder and harder, I find i go home to get rejuvenated with my family, friends and God (no particular order). Today as I was listening to a new sermon series on marriage by Mark Driscoll, he stated something profound. People often say in a marriage that they have fallen out of love. But here is the truth. Love begins and ends with God. You can't decided when you are and when you are not in love. Love is not of yourself, it is of and from God. The key is to let God love your spouse through you...your goal, my goal is to have an every lasting friendship with Cory. A friend with benefits...

:)

Abraham

A Bible study we are doing on Sunday nights is about the modern day Abraham. It is really amazing how you take a story you have known since you were a child and apply it to modern day times. Can you imagine the thoughts of he and Sarah at such an old age trying to conceive a child? After all they had been promised to be the father of so many nations. IN today's world, it would be fertility treatments, timing, and a whole lots of other things just to try and conceive. But as with life, it is all about God's timing. When I try to start planning my life my own, it just doesn't seem to be the best paths to take. Everything I know God has promised is His timing. Not mine. And as I pray and trust in Him daily, I have to let go. After all, I have the front row seat to see His amazing plans unfold in my life and the lives of those around me. (taken from wise words from a good friend).

So, my thought for the today....sit back, hang tight, and know He is in control!

I have had a lot of ladies ask me if I would start blogging again. Just like my own personal diary into what Father is showing me day by day. So, it now begins. Since my last entry, a lot has happened. I have grown so much closer to God and cory. I still have a long ways to go...but I have falling in love with my first love all over again...so the journey continues!

See you tomorrow!

an email I sent to my running sisters today....

So, I thought I would share with you ladies my 'ahahaha God moment' today.

This isn't meant to cast stones or judgment, but it put things in a better perspective for me this morning.

As most of you know, I was out of town last week for an audit. I was so proud of myself. I got up everyday at 5AM and spent a good 30-45 minutes with God, in prayer, devotion and worship. It felt great!!! Then, of course, I get home and set my clock for 5:15 to do the same thing...pumped! Well, Monday and Tuesday rolled by, and I didn't sleep well, so when the alarm went off at 5:15AM, I just reset if for 6:00AM and told myself, 'that will still give me time to just read through my devotion quickly'. SO, I did. By Wed, I was so out of the habit, I just set my clock for 6AM anyway. THEN TODAY HAPPENED, my alarm went off at 4:15AM, I rolled over and thought to myself, "UGH I don't want to get up and go running. I'll just text Laura and sleep in. No. I can't do that. I would let my friends down"....then ding ding ding.....GOD, "but you have been doing that to me all week!" OUCH....that hurt. I love you ladies, but I wasn't put on this earth to worship you, or running. I wasn't put here to put priorities of sleep, running, work, family, or anything else OVER MY CREATOR, OVER MY GOD! So, here is where I am. I am making this commitment to myself, to my God, and to you. My day will start with God. No rushing through it. No sleeping in. If I sleep in and eliminate my time with Him from here on out...I will not run that week. I can't make running my priority over my Savior!

Katrina

Satan!!

One thing I have found as I feel my Christian faith growing is that Satan's attacks grow too. He must feel like I am damaging his work because it seems every time God leads me a certain way, he comes to destroy me. And at times, he is successful. My prayer yesterday was for Cory and our finances so guess what happened. We got into a big fuss about something to do with money!! So much so, I don't even know if we are speaking right now. Satan has used so many things to against Gods work and I feel at times that I'm fighting with hil on this earth alone. So even though I have a set prayer to pray for Cory, and we need this prayer too, I need to pray for God to bind Satan from interfering with Gods plan, and with my marriage. I want Cory and I to fight Satan together with God. And right now, I fight with Gods help and it seems alone.

My prayer designed for Cory today is more for me. We as with any marraige really need God to take over our sexual desires and help me to be a great fulfillment for him. Unfortunately when you get married studies show it takes about two years to lose that phileo (sp?) love so that's why the agape love from God must take over. We need both of those right now. Cory seems a little unhappy lately and I'm sure that's why so I pray that this can be restored. That we can find the balance God intends for us to have. I pray that we can have open communication and remain sensitive to what each other needa and desires. I pray we can remain pure and close out any unrighteous lustful or illicit thought that comes from below. I pray that God can help deliver us from past mistakes and that He can take away anyone or anything that could tempt us. I pray that we only desire each other.

And for me, where I know I'm slacking, I pray that I realize I an important part if my ministry as a wife is to my husband sexually. Help me to committ this area to my Lord and allow Him to make it continually new and alive. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation.

TOUGH SPOT in my life!!