Day 2: Love is KIND

Dare: In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at east one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

So I officially begin day 2 of this love dare. I read it this morning (when I was supposed to be running with my girls...sorry ladies...) and thought oh, I can do this! But then the more I read, the more I thought...I'm really not that kind to my husband. I take advantage of him and his easy-going attitude. The verse of the day was Ephesians 4:32 "Be Ye KIND one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you". (if my sister is keeping up with this blod, I'm sure she is singing this verse the way we learned it when we grew up!)

The day started out stating the the first day was patience for a reason. Patience can avoid a problem, but day 2 - kindness creates a blessing. Can I get an amen? Patience avoids problems, and kindness creates a blessing for the giver and the receiver! Patience is preventative, where kindness is proactive. Kindness makes us likable?! Yes, it does. I see it all around me, at work, with friends, and even more at home. We usually only want to be around KIND people. If I take advantage of my husband, and am ugly to him...why on earth would he want to be around me? I choose my friends based on kindness...maybe I should treat him the same way.

The book says there are four basic core ingredients to kindness. This gets a little deep for me...but here goes.

1. Gentleness: Kindness means being careful how you treat your spouse. This is being tender, being sensitive. Some days, Cory tries to tell me about a bad day at work, and i just shrug shoulders and think, he has no clue! My days are much worse. Why would a wife do that? I should sensitive to him...sensitive to his feelings! Guys have feelings too! :)

2. Helpfulness: Kindness means meeting the need of the moment... no matter what it is. If he wants me to do cook, get busy. If he wants me to listen, open my ears and focus. And this is big for me...because I'm the baby of the family. BE WILLING to be helpful without worrying about what is in it for me! OUCH! The return might be him being curious to find out more of what I need...but that shouldn't be my intention. My needs right now...MUST be put on hold! He has been here for me through thick and thin! Any needs I long for right now...I must turn to GOD!

3. Willingness: Kindness inspires you to be a agreeable! Rather than complaining and making excuses for what I don't want to do, I should be willing to compromise and accommodate. After all, this marriage isn't just about me. Listen, and be flexible! If you know me real well, you know I don't typically go and 'do stuff' with other people. I like to be a home-body, but Cory, well, if you know him...he likes to be out socializing all the time. Like a little social butterfly! So, we had been invited to a New Years Cook-out. At first I didn't want to go, but it is one of my best friends, and we never do anything for New Years...so I asked him if he wanted to go. Of course, he said YES! I'm sure we will have a fabulous time. Especially since God is changing my attitude!

4. Initiative: Kindness thinks ahead, and makes the first step. It is very, very often, I'm ashamed to say, that when Cory and Naomi walk in the house after not seeing them all day, I rarely speak to him. So, from now on...I will greet him with a smile first and then move on to my child (baby steps). After all, I chose him way before she came along. The kind spouse greets first, smiles first, serves first and forgives first! It doesn't require me asking him to get his act together first...which has been our vicious cycle all along. "If you would do this, you would get this!" over and over and over again....When I see the need, I must make a move to show him kindness

This all goes back to the story of the good Samaritan. Years of strife and division can be ended with one act of kindness!

The book states that sometimes it is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel no motivation. And right now is tough for me..believe me, it is tough. But as Dr Quiett and the book said, Love is not based on feeling. Love in its truest sense is determined by thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. I will never love Cory the way God intends until I am able to be more kind to him...STARTING TODAY! :)

DEAR LORD, YOU KNOW MY HEART! You know my insecurities, please satisfy my soul while I enter in to a realm of the unknown, and try to fulfill the plan you have designed for me! Help to be more like you by showing Cory acts of patience and kindness! I love you! Amen!

PRACTICAL: My random act of kindness this morning, was trying to keep Naomi quiet while Cory was off work, and trying to sleep in. I then took the PILES of trash from Christmas to the road for trash pick-up today. Small...but effective I hope. I'm sure my kindness won't stop there!