Day 3: Love is NOT selfish...

Dare: Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

The dare for today will not be hard for me. My love language is gifts, so buying something for Cory comes easy. However, the content of the reading for today's dare hit home very, very hard.

Phil 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important that yourselves." I had to read this verse about three times just because it felt like it was written just for me. I have been apart of this environment where I focus on my appearance, feelings and personal desires rather than what i should be focused on for my happiness. It seems that this dare is not only about my relationship with my husband, but my relationship with God and others. Day by day I keep learning that if I get myself right with God, the rest will fall into place.

So, because the topic is selfishness, I want to clear up and more importantly remind myself, that I'm not doing this blog or dare to get recognition. Although, I have to admit, Satan tries to put that in my head every now and then. I'm not trying to seek my own praise. I simply documenting this road, in hopes to restore relationships, and maybe help someone along the way. Only three days, and things have been tough. It is hard to feel love so quickly. But my accountability partner said, 'Katrina, YOU AREN'T DOING THIS! God is!' And she is so right...this is not from me, but from HIM!

OK...so to the reading...just some things I needed to get off my chest.

The book says that if there is ever an opposite word for LOVE it is SELFISHNESS! It states that every sinful action that is ever committed is almost always related to a selfish motive. I never heard it put that way, but so true. Every sin that I have struggled with for my whole life has been about my selfish motive. About what I want. About what makes me happy. You can't bring that into a marriage. And I can't use being the baby as an excuse! But the truth is, if I can give up generous actions with selfish motives, I can find LOVE. Love will lead me to an inner joy that I can't even imagine!

The book states this won't be easy. To me, this may be the toughest of the three so far. We are all born selfish, but the world teaches us to be more selfish. Cory even has a bigger challenge of loving a selfish person. So, I have to be the first to demonstrate real love to him, with eyes wide open.

Katrina: Be Patient, Be Kind, And Do Not be Selfish!

Practical: I left my book at work last night. I like to read over my daily dare the night before it happens, just to get my thoughts going. Luckily I glanced over it before I left yesterday, and knew what the dare was. So I thought, since Cory is off work all week, I will get up early while he is asleep and go to the store. We were out of diet cokes, so I bought a sleeve of those and put them in the frig, bought him a newspaper to read, and made him some coffee. The human side of me of course got a little upset. I didn't tell him about the diet cokes. But I put some coffee by his bed. I didn't think he saw it, so I told him it was there. He said he knew that. :( Then when he left, he still hadn't touched it. I had Naomi, because I'm a slacker, take the newspaper back to him in bed. I was hoping to get a thank-you by text this morning, but didn't. LESSON TO BE LEARNED? It isn't about getting self-recognition! It isn't about getting a thank-you, even though it would have made me feel much better. It is about not being SELFISH! This is harder than I thought...I try to say, well, maybe Naomi didn't get the paper to him. She is only 2 years old! And maybe he wanted to sleep longer and wasn't ready for coffee. All justifiable reasons, but the selfish side of ME wants praise! This may take more than a day to develop..maybe a lifetime!