Day 4: Love is Thoughtful...

Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you can do for them.

A week ago, this dare would have been hard for me. But by the blood of Jesus coming over me, I started doing this dare last week! We are both off work today for New Years Eve, so I'm sure I can continue this trend sometime today. Before last week, you should hear my conversations with Cory. They pretty much went like this "Whatcha doing. working. You picking up Naomi? Yes. Ok. See you later. Bye". Not that they are 100% better this week, but they are a little better. We haven't told each other I love you on the phone in three year! And probably just wrote it one a card once since then. How could we have ignored this?

So today, love is thoughtful. Psalm 139:17 states "How precious also are your thoughts to me....how vast is the sm of them! If I should count them, they would out number the sand."

Isn't it itneresting how when you date someone, you can't get them off your mind. When your 'in love', it seems to be all you can think about it. But then marraige, work, maybe kids...thinking of our spouse seems to dwindle. This of course goes back to yesertdays post about being selfish, but lets be honest...it happens in almost every marraige. But we have to change our thinking. I have to change my thinking. Can you beleive I forgot our anniversary last year? It wasn't that I got busy and it just slipped up on me. I forgot! Good thing is that cory and my relationship has gotten so out dull, that we don't do gifts anymore for any event but birthday from each other. I've gotten him stuff, but said it was from Naomi. I really don't have too mcuh trouble being thoughtful, I just have trouble with that 'wanting credit' dare yesterday. But if I continue to miss moments of thoughtfulness, I am missing love. And isn't that all I really want?

It is true that Cory probably struggles with this more than me. My one arguments when we fuss, which is rare, is that I just want to feel important, like I'm his priority. But for men, even if I am that priority, some have a hard time showing it. A man can focus in on one thing, and be good at it, but a woman, can do 100 things at one time and still get mad because he isn't helping her do them! Right? It is like that book we studied at church Spaghetti and Waffles. Men are like waffles and compartmentalize stuff, and women are like noodles and intertwine EVERYTHING! SO, I KNOW THIS.....but realizing it at the moment is tough for me. But you know what? God intended us to be this way. Yes, men could be more sensitive,and women could be more focussed, but God made us this way. He knew man need a helpmate to think about all these things. Maybe I should start thinking of things like, 'God sent me to help Cory. To help him mutli-task. To help get things that he just can't get done.'

The book says that if a couple doesn't understand this concenpt, it will results in endless disagreements. He is frustrated because I speak in riddles; I am frustrated because he is thoughtless in inconsiderate. But we have to figure it out.

The sad thing is....lack of thoughtfulness is probably what ruined my part of our marraige. However, as I type this, I just cry out because of the hurt. I need to try to remember that he can't read my mind. Could he probably do a little better? Maybe, but this isn't about him, and I have to tell myself that. There will be a time and palce for that. but right now, I'm working, no God is working on ME! One thing I have been working on for about a year is letting my YES be my YES or saying what I mean and not beat around the bush. That makes it very tricky for Cory. Cory works great with direction. If I tell him to do something, albeit he might need reminding a few times, he can do it, and do it right!

So today, I will also spend some more time thinking about an immediate need of his I can meet. I'm sure you can all think of one...he is a man! :) But today I will focus more on an inner need.

Ok...running at 6 with my girls. It will be hard to give updates during the days the next few days because we will both be home, but I will try. Just continue to pray for me. I have a lot of inner stuff I'm fighting day by day. I have a lot of things I'm praying about....Love yall!