Day 19: Love is Impossible

DARE: Look back over the dares from the previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized the need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask for him to show you where you stand with him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.

This day is deep. So get ready....

This love dare so far has been things to work on on your own. Trying to become less selfish and be more considerate of your spouse. well, today, my eyes are open. I am slowly realizing that true love (agape love) can not come from me. I can't make myself love Cory unconditional. I can't just wake up one day and say 'I'm going to love Cory more now', even though I've tried so many times on my own. It is beyond what I can do. It is only from God. He can only make you love your spouse unconditionally. Because of His great love for ME, and His great love for CORY - he Choses to express HIS love through me! Isn't that amazing?! Think about it. GOD CREATED ME, MADE ME, CHOSE ME to LOVE CORY and EXPRESS HIS LOVE to HIM! FOR HIM! So, my job on this earth is to show my spouse, and others, GOD"s LOVE! WOW.... People see love from other people. God wants us to show HIM to other people. Man I have been missing this all along!

I can't muster up enough unconditional, long-term, sacrificial love from my heart. It isn't in me! I can't! GOD CAN! My sacrificial love has caused me to fail, many many times. Thinking evil against Cory, and against my family....only because of that sacrificial love. How many times I have my love proven tp be incapable of controlling my anger or allowed unforgiveness in my heart? Here is what the Bible says:

We all demonstrate selfishness, hatred, and pride. And unless something is done to cleanse of us of these ungodly attribute, we will stand before God guilty as charged. (paraphrase Romans 6:23) THAT'S WHY IF YOU ARE NOT RIGHT WITH GOD, you can't truly love your spouse, because He is the source of that love! Makes sens huh?! I haven't been able to love Cory the way he needed, the way God intended, because I haven't been truly, truly right with God! I haven't been in His word. I haven't' been praying like I should....But NOW, as this Sunday approaches. TODAY is a day of worship! Today is a day where I am right with God. Today is a day where I will love God, and I Will love Cory through God. Not of myself, but of GOD!

The one thing that is bothering me about today, is those I love who aren't in Christ. Marriages fail because someone isn't in Christ. I confess I haven't prayed for those like I should, and I must begin today. Without God's love in the marriage, things are hopeless. Agape love can't be generated. LOVE IS FROM GOD! (1 John 4:7)

But here is something to remember: "HE is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or thing, according tho the power that works within us" Eph 3:20 This is my new favorite verse!

My goal today: Stop resisting the Love of God. Stop rejecting his forgiveness and forgiveness of others. It is a tough road for me, which has caused depression. But I must focus on the LOVE OF GOD. The truth is I can't live without HIM, and I can't love Cory without him. Just imagine if I out my marriage in HIS hands?! Look what HE has already done!

Pray with me about something...I'm thinking of asking Cory to start doing the dare with me. Today actually starts Day 20 (I didn't blog yesterdays) and I feel that the beginning was all superficial..things I needed. I think we might could start growing as a family if we focus on the next 20, because it seems to be about your relationship with God more too. If he is reading this...maybe he will pray too! :)