Day 5: Love is not Rude

Dare: Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviors. This is from their perspective only.Today might be a little tough to sneak in without Cory knowing something is up. He is familiar with the Love Dare, because when we first started having some ‘recongizable’ issue, his sister bought us the movie and the book. So, he know what it entails. So I figure some where along the way, he will figure this out, but then again…he is male and probably will only notice something has changed! Hehehe But my plan is sometime during the day, I might have to use a negative comment to get this out of him. I am thinking about jokingly saying something he is doing is aggravating me, and see if I can’t sneak in to ask him what I do to irritate him. I know it seems like a twisted way, but I can’t just come out and ask him, and I know that I can pull it off! :)

The scripture for today is Proverbs 27:14 “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice in the morning, it will be a reckoned a curse to him.” OK, I’m going ot have to get my message Bible out some time today to understand that one better! Any help out there?

This is another one of those hard lessons for me because the whole time I was reading it I was thinking, Cory needs to read this! He does gross things to annoy me all the time. Ladies, you know…like praise his poots, telling my about his bowel movements, etc. I hate it! I wasn’t brought up to ‘poot’ in front of people, but his does it front of me and his family all the time. I have never pooted in front of Cory, well except that one time. Funny story time. When we dated when we were in college, we were taking a nap on his mom’s couch. I remember waking myself up because I pooted on him. I have thought about that a lot since then. I was humiliated, and wondered if he heard me. I found out years later he didn’t but of couse, now he gives me a hard time about it because I told him! Silly me! Anyway….sorry for ht detour….the point is I thought Cory could use this lesson more than me, and he might can, but I have to keep reminded myself throughout this dare that this is for me. I have bad ways too! The ole saying is true that when you point a finger at someone, you are pointing three back at you!!

The book says that nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. To be rude is not just saying or doing things unpleasant, but to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or or irritating. It states that in a marriage, it could be fould mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips. (see why I wanted to blame the male? – these things don’t usually relate to females!) But what did hit me wa this….RUDE BEHAVIOR MAY SEEM INSIGNIFICANT to the person doing it, but unpleasant to those on the receiving end. So, this has two lessons for me. 1. If he annoys me, he probably has no clue had bad it really affects me. And 2. If I annoy him, I probably don’t even reazlie it because he is so easy going. So, I need to figure out what I do to really be rude to him!

The key to remember is that people drive by love behave in a way that is more pleasant to be around. If you are ‘in love’ you will purposefully avoid things that annoy the other. Genuine love minds in manners. This is more hard for the male to understand. The one thing Cory always says to me, is I am in my own house on m own couch. I want to be able to be comfortable. I know it seems I’m blaming him again, but I’m not. He just wants something so simple to be comfortable at his own house. Can’t I do that?

The one thing that I’ve mentioned before that this chapter hit one was the the etiquette you use at home is much different than the kind you empliy with friends or total strangers. I can be in a bad mood to Cory at home and if someone calls me on the phone, I Can change 180 degrees. I need to find my love for him, and let that motivate me to make the changes to make him to want to be around me. Bad days are acceptable, but treating him rudely is not.

The book agrees with me (hehe) and say the women are much better at certain types to manners than men. But we can be rude in other ways. King Soloman says, “ Better to libe on a corner of the roof thant share a house with a quarrelsome wife”. All my husband, and most men, want is just to have peace!

There are two reasons people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. If I keep thinking that this is about Cory and not me, then I’m suffereing from both of these! If I want to be able to ask him to stop things that bother me, I must first look at myself. I must dare to be delightfult, and I’m afraid I haven’t been that delightful lately!

Three things the book says to follow for me to practice etique:
1. Golden rule
2. No double standards
3. Honor requests

OK…so that is what I need to do today. First, CUT HIM SLACK! And second, FIND OUT what I do to bother him and third, BE MORE LIVEABLE for him!

See you tomorrow!